When is it Swearing?

So I have a 4 year old boy who goes to Kindy. At school they have a religion class. Now that it is the Christmas season the kids are learning about Jesus. Now I would like to start off saying that I am not very religious, but I am spiritual. So Max, my wonderful 4 year old fell down on the tiles in the kitchen the other day and drops "Jesus" He must have heard his father say this one more than one occasion, because he sure didn't get it from me. I almost wrote that without laughing...Anyway. I now had to talk with his teacher to tell her that although I don't encourage swearing, and under normal circumstances my boys are pretty good and don't swear. I just thought I should give her the heads up because you know when he spills something at school he may say it. Now he is allowed to say "Jesus" at school, because they are learning about him, he started to say it all over the place.

So I now have to try to explain to my little Blasphemer that "Jesus" is a word that should only be used if you are talking about him, not to be used when things don't go your way. Jesus.

Name That Smell!

So I was reading my BFF's blog and Beau had a mystery smell in her laundry room and it brought back some pretty painful memories of my own. So here they are:

It was a little over 7 years ago and I was just pregnant with Cyrus. Now if you have ever been pregnant you sense of smell is heightened to some level as what dogs hear at. It was early morning in the summer and I noticed a smell, it wasn't that bad and was eliminated with the lighting of a candle and opening up a window. So I carried on with my day. The smell kept getting worse as the day wore on and the heat of the day swept in.

Curtis came home for lunch that day and said "whoa, what is that smell" together we spent the next hour looking for the stench. He went back to work and I started to power clean the house determined to find the odor. By the end of the day I could barely stand to be inside with what now has become the stench of what I can only assume is a rotting carcass of some sort.

At 5pm I had all but given up and was just going to move out and find a new place to live. Curtis got home and almost passed out when he walked in the front door. I was sitting outside and figured this was no doubt some how his fault and he could deal with it. So here we are again, looking for the stench.

On a small table in the kitchen next to my tiny deepfreeze is a couple of balled up Walmart and Safeway plastic bags, the ones you use for garbage. So Curtis picks them up and further investigates. Under the wad of bags is yet another wad of bags and one of them is leaking some kind of Motor Oil.....weird right.... Yeah well we have indeed found the smell. Turns out that when you take minnows (bait) out the freezer and don't put them back in they tend to rot and turn into a oil of sorts. They had infact taken on a life of their own and were only a day a way from walking themselves to the garbage.

Well now that we had found the smell the next problem was eliminating it. So my cute little table was taken out and we spent the next 3 days with all the windows and doors open trying to rid the left over smell. There was also quite a lot of swearing done by me and a few death threats to Curtis that if he ever, ever brought bait into the house again the smell of HIS rotting carcass would be the problem.

I don't think I will ever forget that smell as long as I live.

So a couple years pass and again we play the name that smell game, Round 2....
everytime I walk into the kitchen it smells funky, around the fridge area. I open the fridge door and peek in, no smell, I close the door and smell it again. It is rank and I can't find where the smell is coming from or what would cause it. I procede to clean out the entire fridge. I take everything out and get the spraynine and give it a well overdue cleaning out. I close the door and I can still smell it.

Well it can't be coming from the fridge so I take everything out of the cupboard near the fridge, I clean out and under the microwave, still the smell eludes me. At this point I am tired and cranky and overwhelming stench is still there. I make Curtis pull out the fridge and I clean under it, put it back and I can still smell it.

I open the fridge and the smell is gone, close the fridge, smell is there....WTF. So I am now getting a bit hungry and we head out to Micky D's for dinner, come back and I open upo the fridge to grab the ketchup out of the door.... Wow found the smell.....In the door where I didn't clean was some black forrest ham from the deli that Curtis had bought who knows when and had forgotten about. So when I walked by the closed fridge I could smell it, but when I opened the door and smelled inside I couldn't. Once I got rid of the ham, I got rid of the smell.

Now you must now be thinking who are these people and why do they live like that? I have no answers for you. I am thinking the same thing. I don't claim to be a housekeeper, but my home is usually tidy. I never worry that when I sit on the sofa I will be sitting on a PB and J sandwhich as well. Yet on these rare occasions something gets by me and it is like I am living in the houses you see on talk shows, you know the ones where the womans house is so horrible you think my God how can people live like that.

Anyway, that is my horrible smell story and I feel for you Beau and anyone else who has suffered the fate of bait left out, or the hamster that escaped and you prayed that it found its way out of your house only to find out days later that in fact it was not so lucky....here's to you!

I am going to have a glass of wine now and try to once again bury those memories....

The Things Kids Say!

Have you ever been out in public and have your children say something so loud and so embarassing that you spend the next 10 minutes trying to find a place to hide and the next 5 minutes looking for their "real" parents....

Well a couple of weeks ago we are at the mall doing a bit of shopping. It was a nice day and we were able to get everything we were looking for. That so seldom happens and on top of it all the kids were so good and well behaved that we thought we would buy them an ice cream on the way out.

So here are ice cream in hand on our way out of the mall, we are laughing and having a great time when off to the side Cyrus my six year old sees something that is worth his undivided attention...

Background, we are from Alberta Canada and don't see a lot of Afganistan Women out and about...

So he spies this lady in a full Burka (I think that is what it is called) she is covered head to toe in all black with all that is showing is a slit for her eyes, it really was quite beautiful...

Enter Cyrus..."look mom a NINJA, a real life NINJA" oh my he was so excited and really loud.
Now you would think that people would have a sense of humor about these things, she was with children, but no.

So I quickly usser him out of the mall, shusshing him all the way, meanwhile, he keeps saying how cool it is that he just seen a real life ninja. Well I could hardly burst his bubble, as we made our way out of earshot of anyone, I agreed that it was very cool, but we should probably keep it a secret between us otherwise his friends would be jealous!

My Life as a Rock Star!

So I went back to Canada and came back with Franks Red Hot Sauce, Cookies and Cream Oatmeal and Ceaser Salad Dressing! It was an amazing trip. I flew into Tokyo and met 2 very wonderful women from Perth. A lovely lady who has a tattoo shop here in town run by all women and a stripper on her way to Vegas to interview for a job at Planet Hollywood! Good Luck to you! So we sat and ate and drank really good beer, once we found it! Which is hard if you don't speak Japanese, however I do know where the phones are at the airport.

So Canada was great, I had so many good laughs it was nice to be back for a bit. So on the flight home, I again find myself in Tokyo with a bit if a wait. So I head on down to the smoking lounge. Yes you can still smoke in the airport in Tokyo! So usually everyone is quiet and tries not to make eye contact, so you don't get stuck hearing someones life story when all you really want to do is relax, be glad your not on a cramped airplane and enjoy your death stick in peace!

So there is a guy there and he is very friendly and he tells me a bit about himself and asks me what I do and where I was coming from and where I am off to. Turns out we are sitting in the same row on the next flight into Perth. He is really nice so I tell him I was just at the Everything To Do With Sex Show in Toronto and that I do home parties for Passion Parties... Well next thing I know he tells me that he is Rick's The drummer from Def Leopards guy, and wouldn't you know the whole band is sitting right there!!!

Wait for it.....

So we get on the flight and I talk with some more people from the band... he asks for my card and if he can get some "goodies" for the band to give to their wives!

So now we land in Perth and I don't get hassled at customs for once and am outside enjoying the fresh air and stretching my legs. And who do I see but Rick and yes I got a picture of us together! We chatted it was nice. Then Tod the "guy" comes out, tells me he will call or email and get in touch. So on Halloween I was picking up VIP tickets for the Def Leopard concert in Perth and handing over some Passion!

So not really a rock star, but pretty frick'n close!!

How to eat like a Canadian in Perth

So here I am, missing the food from home. I don't know what we put in the cheddar cheese to make it orange, but don't be fooled, that is what makes it good!

So I called in some help and I got a recipe for perogies. That's right I made perogies from scratch and they turned out really well.

I also had some friends mail me some hot sauce....they just don't have it here, they have some sort of chilli sauce, but it isn't the same. You also have to be very choosy where you get your pizza from or you can make it yourself, also a good way to get the kids doing something on a rainy day....They love to "decorate" their own pizza!

Wow I just realized that all of the above includes cheese...could be because the coffee here is just like a laxative, no need for extra fiber. There's no joke there.

From Canada to Ausrtalia

So a couple of years ago, my husband started thinking about his career and making a bit more money and going to work off shore. He had numerous job offers....for Iran, Yemmin, Dubai....so we left it alone.

All of a sudden he gets a call from a comapany in Australia and they want to fly him down for an interview..... Well yeah!

So off he goes, he is gone for a week, by the time I pick him up at the airport, I have sold our car, put an add in the paper to rent out our house and I am making arrangements to move.

It all seemed to have happened so fast, but the within a month we were gone. We left Canada with 10 suitcases and 4 carry-ons. We moved to Perth. It was sad to leave everyone I knew, my family and friends... we took grandchildren away from our parents and are still reminded that it isn't to late to change our minds and come home. But we were embarking on a new adventure for our family. The experience alone would be invaluable.

So after a 28 hour flight and 2 layovers we were here. And so it begins.....

It is late as we arrive at the airport, the kids are tired and just glad to be off the plane, however customs was another issue... The guy with the rubber glove was surprisingly gentle....you know who you are...

We get to the apartment that the new company has provided us. It is really nice and swank, but it is an apartment in East Perth, near the CBD (downtown) and I still have 2 rowdy boys, who need to be near a playground or in a school. So 3 weeks there, Curtis has to fly out for a job and the kids and I are alone in a strange city.

So we did a bunch of walking, learned how to take the train and the bus, even watched a live rugby game at the Oval across the street. Curtis came home and we checked out the most beautiful beaches and the Fremantle Market, met some new friends and re-connected with some old ones. We had a great day at the Zoo and Kings Park and started to look for a better place to live.

So we move into our new home, I really like it, it is small, but clean and new and close to the school and the beach and shopping. The kids would like to have something a bit bigger and they remind me all the time that we DON'T have a basement.

Now the kids are in school about to finish their third term of the year. Summer is just begining and the beaches are still beautiful.

I do miss coffee with my neighbors and backyard fires, but When Cyrus is in school and Max and I spend the entire day making sandcastles and playing in the waves and Cyrus is so excited to learn everything he can about Australia and to see how they were able to settle in and adjust so quickly has been amazing.

Now the spiders don't yet seem to have come out from the winter, or I have been to busy to notice them, however, much more troubling has been the COCKROACHES!!! Frickin gross, I have seen 5 in my driveway getting close to my front door. I am not ok with that at all. I have gotten used to not having bacon, the instant coffee, the cheese, the fact that my toilet is in a closet and that I could load my new car up in the back of my truck I left in Canada, but there is no getting used to the cockroaches, Shivers and heebie jeebies...

So

A bit about me....

Well I have just turned 30! I couldn't be happier about that. To me there was little worse than being that lady down the street with a couple of kids...pushing 30? I wasn't pushing anything. So now I am officially 30 and it feels great. I have a wonderful husband and I can count on one hand all the big fights we have had in just over 10 years. We have 2 beautiful boys and I am proud to say that I am their mom.

I routinely do really dumb things and strongly believe them to be learning experiences...once I bought my kids desks that turned out to be cardboard boxes...desks $214.00...lesson in recycling..priceless....Comments from my husband....are still costing him, lol!

I have the best friends in the world. I have the kind of friends that I can call in the middle of the night and know that they will answer the phone just to hear me cry. I have realized that life is too short not to be surrounded by people who bring out the best in you. I also have realized that life is too short not to eliminate the people who bring out the worst in you from your life.

My life has taken in me to many wonderful places, sometimes those places were just around the corner, but wonderful none the less.

I love to cook, camp, try new adventures, spend time with great friends and family, enjoy a good glass of red wine. The best thereapy I have found is putting the kids to bed early, opening a bottle of wine and cleaning house while listing to your favorite music and wear a pair of your favorite shoes. (that part is important) When you wake up the next day, your house is clean and your head is still in a bit of a fog and your problems don't seem to be that bad anymore.

I love to scrapbook all of my memories and read, Thans to a great friend, I have read 6 of the best books about a brotherhood....it is dark and sexy and makes you glad to be a women.

Apart from being a wife and mother, I am also a Passion Parties Ind. Consultant. Something that I tried doing about 3 years ago for fun. As it turns out I am really good at my new job and love it! I have met the most interesting people and in the process found out that in fact I did have room for more friends in my life.